So I read some movie reviews earlier and I thought I’d give it a shot. Here goes nothing!
This is my movie review for “Limitless.” It’s actually kind of a cheating review, since I haven’t seen it yet. I did, however, see the trailer for it five minutes ago, and it had the Kanye West song “Power” in it, which I thought was pretty cool. It stars Bradley Copper (The King’s Speech Impediment) and Robert Denero (Mission: Impossible). I’m pretty sure Denero’s French Canadian, and his name’s pronounced “Rowbear,” but I’m not sure. Canadians are weird.
Copper is a homeless man living in a big city, much like that Will Smith movie “Pursuing Happiness.” That’s another movie I like, because his son gets a basketball for Christmas and he gets a job. I think he’s playing on the And 1 Mixtape Tour now, but I’m not sure, I’m behind a couple of episodes. From what I’ve gathered from the trailer, Copper takes some sort of drug and starts winning the lotto. I’m not sure about that last part, but I know he has lots of fancy suits and smiles a lot. He’s got like 5 girlfriends, which is cool, but it’s still kind of bad because that’s not a nice thing to do. He probably just has really low self-esteem and he tries to raise it by getting with a lot of pretty women, but it doesn’t work because he’s on drugs.
There’s a scene where he cliff dives, which is cool. I want to go to Mexico and cliff dive, but I’m scared of getting a disease or being abducted, so I don’t think I’ll go. My friend has a pool with a diving board at his house, so maybe I’ll just go do that and pretend I’m in Mexico. Ahh, the wonders of imagination. Anyway, the drugs let him like paintings and talk about sports to his friends, which I think is pretty redemptive.
Then he buys this big house somewhere warm and sunny, probably Miami, and he throws big huge parties and invites all his sports friends to come have fun with him. He’s got everything, and his suits keep getting cooler, and his hair is flowing, and he’s got a car, and a basketball hoop, and all that fun stuff. He hits a man in a bar in the trailer, so I think he might have taken some street-fighting lessons with his lotto money.
Then Rowbear gets upset because Copper probably beat him in a game of PIG basketball or something, and I think he’s dating Rowbear’s daughter. So Rowbear hires people to watch Copper from outside his window and make him nervous, because he’s having sex with his daughter in a hotel room. And then more people get hit, and Copper stares at the camera a lot, because he’s probably pissed that the director didn’t have him making out with more girls than he did, and that’s when Kanye West’s song comes in. That’s my favorite part.
I think at the end he wakes up and realizes it was all a dream, because Cleo DiCaprio and the guys from “Interception” played a trick on him. They seem like fun guys. That or he’s the mastermind of a big bank heist and it’s the ultimate “Whodunit?” movie. That would be cool. Go see it with your friends or your family or even a stranger! That stranger could be me, just call me and ask what time, because I’m a busy guy.