Cloud Atlas: A Review

Cloud Atlas: A Review

Hey all, it’s been a while since I’ve written much of anything.  I want to tell you that’s not my fault, but then I’d be lying, which my new neighbor Pete says I shouldn’t do.  Just because you saw me run over your cat with my car and I told you it wasn’t me doesn’t give you permission to tell me how to live my life, Pete.

“Cloud Atlas” is a movie starring Tom Hanks (from the Disney Channel Original Movie, “Halloweentown”) and Halle Berry (from  I thought the movie was pretty good, mostly because I thought it was a sequel to “Cast Away.”  I kept asking people around me where Wilson was and how crazy it was that Tom Hanks can grow such a great beard, but then the guy sitting in front of me told me to “shut the hell up.”  I think he was just mad because he didn’t have a beard like Tom and I was pointing out how cool it was.

I really liked “Cloud Atlas.”  It was probably the best movie about clouds that I’ve ever seen.  Here are three things I really liked about this movie:

1. It didn’t have Hugh Jackman in it.  His sideburns always get in Halle Berry’s way, and I think he’s a little too aggressive when it comes to the filming industry.

2. Time travel.  They did a lot of it in this movie, which was really cool.  I figured we’d have time travel all over by now, especially after I saw that guy in the Coke Zero commercials do it years ago, but we don’t. I bet the guys from Coke let Tom borrow their machine and he just never gave it back.  Tom’s kind of a rascal like that.

3. Beards.  I’ve already mentioned beards, but Tom’s was really something in this movie.

Here are three things I didn’t like:

1. No animal sidekicks.  Halle Berry was in “Catwoman,” so I thought for sure there would be at least one feline.  I guess cats don’t time travel well.

2. Nothing about the Presidential debates.  The writers should have turned on their TV’s, because that’s what’s really “in” right now.  I would probably vote for Tom Hanks for president if he asked me, but I’d make him take me back in time to get a Dodo bird and keep it as a pet.  I’d name it “Tom,” after him, or “Adam,” after me.

3. No cool sneakers.  My friend Rob has a ton of cool shoes, but there weren’t any in this movie!  If Rob can get some slammin’ shoes, so can Tom.

There you have it.  Overall, I’d give “Cloud Atlas” five out of five volleyballs.  See you at the movies, I’ll be the one making hand puppets in front of the projector.


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